Overcoming Stage Fright: Just speak!

Since childhood I have battled with stage fright.

While it's easy for some other persons to just walk up in front of a people and say whatever they have in mind, it's been a struggle for me.

The thought of not being able to look at the faces of my audience, of forgetting the things I'm supposed to say; the thought of messing up and hearing everyone laugh made me hate every class presentation. I had always thought of ways to escape them. Yet, I've never been able to because I am made to speak, and I never want my grades down.

However, my healing process started on the 14th of February, 2016.

I had gone on a christian trip where everyone was asked to make a presentation. There had been a love song on my mind to sing to Christ, moreover I really wanted to overcome my fear. So I decided to bargain with Christ.

Actually, it never seemed like a bargain to me till now. So I made a prayer "Dear Lord, I want to sing a love song to you with the whole of my heart, but I'm really shy. So please for the sake that I really want to put aside my fear and express my Love for you, please make me very confident as I sing to you."

I held unto this prayer as though my life depended on it. I felt very convinced and confident to sing.

However, when I got up and started singing, I was surprised at what happened. I had never in my life quivered the way I did that day. I mean, my voice, my legs, the whole of my body literary quivered. I had lost the boldness I had summoned while I was sitted. It was very obvious and so everyone laughed.

By the time I went back to my seat I felt a surge of shame run over me. And I began to say to God in my heart "Why Lord? Why did you disgrace me? Why didn't you make me bold? Why did you have to embarass me that way despite that I am expressing my love for you?".

But then, one thing that was different in me unlike the other times that I had trembled during presentations was that this time I didn't regret expressing my love to Christ despite the humiliation that came with it.

Something transforming was surely taking place in me.

I didn't become bold after that day. I still struggled with it. I'll feel my heart racing and my blood pressure rising.

But then I realize that unless I face my fears, I will never be bold.

Ever since I started to say to myself "It doesn't matter if you are afraid, it doesn't matter if you're too shy, it doesn't matter if they notice your fear, it doesn't matter what they think and if they laugh, it doesn't even matter if your presentation isn't perfect, your aim is to make certain you stand in front of these persons and present, come what may."

That's the Spirit!

I shifted my focus from the audience to making a presentation (just speak).

I would prepare and practice my speech. I would try not to think about the fear of not making a good speech. I would try not to think about all the what ifs... What if I'm not making sense? What if this example I'm using is not relevant? What if I'm not interesting?.. all garbage. All these things matter of course, but not to a person who is still in the process of overcoming fright.

Well, I had to remind myself of who I am. I am a creative writer, a great speaker and motivator. This ability is inborn.

I decided to trust myself that whatever content I come up with is relevant and interesting.

Thus, I started to grab any opportunity I get to speak. I won't say no, except I'm not interested in the subject matter or I'm indisposed. And I just do not think about whether I would be frightened or not. I say to myself "Just go and embarass yourself, it doesn't matter whether you're perfect or not, just speak".

Every single time I have done this, it has always worked for me. I have received applauses and great comments about my presentations. 

And sometimes I'm amazed that they ain't seeing the battle within me.

You know, God doesn't necessarily have to perform a miracle, he may decide to build you through his transformation process, and of course there are always results.

I had expected a miracle, but God didn't give me a miracle, he gave me a tough transformation process in order to be somebody who can help others out of similar situations. 

And I am coming to an understanding that seeking the easiest way out of situations in life has never produced the best result, but embracing and appreciating the tough process makes you one hell of a person.

So today I proudly say that "I'm a better psychologist not just by head-knowledge, but by experience!"

And thanks to all those who are standing by me at all times- my Mentor- Rabbi J. O. I. Joseph (Pious), family and friends.

I love you all!

 Picture of me speaking during Moferere community dialogue and FGM abandonment campaign in Ekiti State of Nigeria.